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Making Positive Changes

We often assume we know all there is to know about our partners, but people can change over time. It is very easy to lose that connection, and not know where our partner is at now, or who they are now. In order to maintain or re-establish a connection with your partner, you could:

  • take time to care for your relationship
  • look at what is happening in the relationship
  • stay curious (but respectful) about each other
  • listen, and communicate your needs

How can I improve my relationship?

You might ask yourself how you would like your relationship to be different. If you know, then commit yourself to making the changes you need to make. One small change can sometimes make a difference to a lot of big things. Relationships need to be looked after and need commitment from both parties.

Here are some ideas for nurturing  your relationship

  • greet each other at the end of the day and talk about your day
  • spend time alone together
  • develop common interests
  • really listen, and try to understand each other
  • tell your partner when you are happy and unhappy about something – honestly and respectfully and encourage your partner to do the same
  • celebrate with your partner
  • try to find solutions that are suitable for both of you
  • express affection
  • notice the small attempts by your partner for connection and show appreciation for them.

What can I do to improve my relationship?

Here are some additional ideas for improving your relationship:

  • be supportive; try not to make judgements when your partner makes mistakes, or does things differently from how you would do them
  • be there for each other, in the good and the challenging times
  • ask for help when you cannot cope with a situation
  • share the load - agree on who will do what in the household and to what standard
  • allow yourself and your partner the right to put up your feet and relax
  • make time specifically for yourself - soak in a bath, read, listen to music, talk on the phone to friends, exercise  - and encourage your partner to do the same
  • respect and accept your differences and your similarities
  • take responsibility for your actions.

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