Misuse of Power and Control in Relationships

Healthy relationships should be based on equality and respect between partners.

When one partner uses tactics to control the other partner, it can be harmful to both parties. This control or power imbalance can take many forms, including intimidation, threats, 'stalking' behaviour, and physical abuse.

This usually results in one partner being frightened of another, leaving them feeling unsafe in the relationship.

What sort of behaviours can be called domestic or family violence?

Examples of  behaviours that constitute family violence include:

• Physical assault – punching, kicking, slapping, choking or using weapons against the victim. All threats of physical violence should be taken seriously.
• Sexual assault - any non-consenting (not fully agreed to by both partners) sexual act or behaviour; any unwanted or disrespectful sexual touch, rape (with or without threats of other violence), forced compliance in sexual acts, indecent assaults; and forced viewing of pornography.
• Using coercion and threats- telling the person she/he, the children, pets or property will be hurt or damaged.
• Using intimidation - making a person afraid by using looks, actions or gestures.
• Psychological/emotional/verbal abuse - using words and other strategies to insult, threaten, degrade, abuse or denigrate the victim.
• Using children, for example, by making the other parent feel guilty about the children; threatening to take the children away, or to report the partner to Child Protection authorities.
• Using visitation, following separation,  to harass the partner, using the children to relay messages.
• Using isolation - controlling what the partner does, who the partner sees and talks to, what she or he reads and where they go.
• Economic abuse - controlling and withholding access to family resources such as money and property.