Guest Blog by Very Neighbourly Organisation Gather My Crew (7 October 2025)
We’ve all had that moment. You see a neighbour who’s clearly going through something. Maybe they’ve just had a baby. Maybe someone in the house is unwell. Maybe they’re grieving.
You want to help, but… what do you say? What if they don’t want help? What if you come across as too much?
Offering help can feel awkward. But here’s the truth: most people want to help, and most people need it. We just don’t always know how to bridge the gap. And that’s ok. Because knowing what to say and how to act in these situations is something we have to learn – it is not an innate skill.
So, if you’ve ever thought “I don’t want to intrude, but I’d love to help,” this one’s for you.
1. Be specific
The number one way to make help easier to accept? Be clear.
“Let me know if you need anything” puts the emotional labour back on them. Instead, try:
- “I’m heading to the shops, I’ll pick you up some bread and milk. Would you like anything else?”
- “I walk my dog each morning. I’ll come past and pick yours up too. Does 8am work?”
- “I’m free Tuesday so I can come for a cuppa, drive you to an appointment or run the vacuum round the house. You choose.”
2. Work with what you already do
You don’t need to offer something huge. You don’t need to be wildly inconvenienced. Think of the things you’re already doing and add a little extra.
Making dinner? Double it.
Going to the chemist? Do they need a prescription filled?
Washing your car? May as well wash theirs too.
3. Keep it casual and kind
You don’t need a big sit down conversation or a formal offer. A quick note left under the door is often enough.
Try something like:
“Hey, I’m going to take your bins out each week from now on. Until you say no.”
“Until you say no” matters, because it removes the need for them to ask, or for you to keep checking in.
It’s a quiet promise of consistency, without putting pressure on either of you. It stops that awkward weekly dance of “Should I ask again?” or “Is it still okay?” Instead, you’ve taken the lead, gently and assertively, and shown them you’re in this for the long haul.
4. Offer more than once
Timing is everything. If someone turns you down the first time, don’t assume they’ll never want help. Keep checking in, gently and consistently.
5. Don’t go it alone
If you think more support is needed than you can offer on your own, rally a few trusted neighbours. Check out the free Gather My Crew app, which helps coordinate help and care from multiple people. There are also tips, resources and tools on the Gather My Crew website to help you provide useful help and care. https://www.gathermycrew.org.au/helptech/
And a final reminder.
You don’t have to get it perfect. If you care, it shows. Most people appreciate the offer, even if they don’t take you up on it right away.
So next time your instinct says, “I should reach out,” trust it.
Because neighbourly help and care makes our communities stronger, safer and happier.
About our Guest Blogger
Guest blogger Emily Chadbourne is Head of Communications & Education at Gather My Crew, bringing a decade of experience in coaching, storytelling, and community engagement. She joined in 2025, driven by a passion for making help and care a normal, celebrated part of everyday life. Emily’s work is shaped by personal experience supporting friends and family through illness, loss, and the messy middle of life, which fuels her commitment to changing how we show up for each other.